Feeling blah

Yesterday was my birthday. Yuck. I don't get excited about birthdays anymore. Especially since my age has had the number "4" at the beginning. Now, don't get me wrong, I am VERY grateful to have birthdays. I am VERY grateful for each and every day that I get to wake up. And, I AM grateful that I have reached my forties. Birthdays just aren't fun anymore.

I have gladly accepted "Happy Birthday" wishes and thanked all the thoughtful people who wanted to take time out of their busy life to send me those wishes with a phone call, text, or Facebook post. I have reluctantly accepted gifts and given thanks for those as well. But, it doesn't feel exciting any more.

I spend my birthdays the same way I spend all my other days: taking care of kids, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, breaking up fights, breaking up arguments, breaking up wrestling matches, answering calls, answering texts, checking emails, handling the office duties of our HVAC business, and somewhere in there trying to find the time to shower and look like a human by the time the hubby gets home.

Life gets kind of monotonous. It gets kind of mundane. It gets boring and TOTALLY unexciting.

I start to feel really, really blah.

I was totally in a self-induced funk about my birthday (and life in general) and wishing for the days when birthdays (and other days) were FUN and the focus was on me. Wishing for kids who acknowledge and appreciate all that I do for them. Wishing for someone to notice how much I do and how much of myself I am sacrificing to do what I do. 

And then I read this:

Today I can be a woman who remembers I'm raising Christ-followers. When I feel unnoticed, unappreciated and completely uninspired in the daily grind as a mom, I'll lift my focus off the laundry baskets, etc. ....and look to Jesus.

As He leads me, I'll lead my kids with patience, love, and perseverance. And remember I'm building His Kingdom by investing in my children. I can take joy in this season because Jesus is More Than Enough to give me hope and delight.
(Posted by Proverbs 31 Ministries)

If you are a mom, I hope that spoke to you the same way it did to me. Don't get lost in the mundane and forget why we are here.

I love it when God reaches out to me. He reaches way down into the pit I'm hanging out in - the one I dug for myself with my pity shovel - and hits me with a reminder that I'm not forgotten. I'm not unappreciated. And, I'm not unimportant. He reminds me of why I CHOSE this life. That's right I chose to live a totally boring and often mundane lifestyle. I CHOSE to walk away from a business that I owned and ran. I was an entrepreneur, for goodness sakes! I chose to stay out of the corporate workplace. I chose my FAMILY! I chose to invest in my children. I decided that my children were more important than any self-satisfaction I may receive by working for others, or even myself. I decided that their future as Christ-followers was the best investment of my time and myself.

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for reminding me that this life is not my own. Thank You for Your perfect timing. Thank You for never forgetting me. Thank You for noticing me. Thank You for forgiving me when I get wrapped up in myself.

I'll take however many more days and birthdays He wants to give me. I'll take them without the hoopla and celebration that my flesh craves. I'll take any number of mundane and monotonous days He chooses to give me. I'll try to fill them with joy and praise. And, I'll hope that I can bring Him glory some way some how.  

I reject BLAH! I choose JOY! Because Jesus is more than enough.